Game and site by David Newton, 2007-2015

As we pressed on through the Twisted Tropics, I couldn't help but notice that every blasted thing in this godforsaken place had evolved specifically to bite, poison, sting or otherwise make life difficult for every single living creature around it. There are plants here with teeth growing out of their teeth, and it's beginning to seem strange to imagine any animal that isn't covered in spikes. At least many of them seem to be susceptible to magic.

Don't even get me started on those blob things, though - they just sit there with their mouths open waiting for the stupider fauna to stumble into them. One of them grabbed my best hat when I got a bit too close, but I fed it some fire stones that I happened to have saved, and after some indigestive noises, it shrank and then burst into a million pieces. Even though the clearing we had found it in now looked somewhat like someone had put a stick of dynamite in a really big pudding, everything non-organic that had been inside the blob creature had been perfectly preserved - we even found a few old mechanical pieces like a spark plug in working order.

We took some photographs of these curious flowers deep in the jungle. They seem to be constantly watching you, as if they're afraid that you're going to nick something. Even though they're one of the few things here that don't seem to do anything objectionable other than make it uncomfortable to sit next to them for too long, they often seem to grow over rare stones or herbs, as we found when Paul attacked one for 'looking at him funny'.

We've been surviving on indeterminate boiled bits of animals for three days - Pierre won't tell us what they are. I appreciate he's not got a lot to work with, but frankly I could murder a curry just now.